School's finally over! Roll on summer school! ;)

I got a PASS on this final course! *phew* Amazing...and probably overly generous of my teacher but then again maybe not, she's quite a tough skinned lady... I really don't care why, I'm just thrilled I passed the course!! :)

Today was last day for the spring term (we have 2 terms in the school year in Sweden) some were still handing in their assignments (although assignments I've not done at all) and our international/multi-cultural class had organised an amazing potluck lunch. Lovely Hungarian chicken dish and a really nice "potatoe sallad"-like dish from... Lebanon (?) and one of our Afghani girls had made these awesome tiny meatballs with a type of leek-filled "tortellini" served with a mint-yoghurt-sauce...! Very interesting and all very very tasty. :)

So we ended our first term with our bellies filled! :) Not a bad way at all... ;) We're starting back again August 17th.

On Monday my summer distance course (Swedish) begins and will go on for 5 weeks and then in July I'll do both Religious studies and Psychology for another 5 weeks and that leaves me with a whole week off this summer. I haven't been off since I started school last August, after 3 years on maternity leave...we'll see how much of a break it'll be having to get organised for the autumn term starting! ;)

E.

Studies...

So...school has not gone so great lately, I've been running behind on assignments and just feeling fairly drained with this cold, even just going to class has been tough. I hope I've done enough to pass this last course of the term but...I'm not sure... :/
I basically have this week to catch up on things and on Thursday I've got a meeting with my teacher to talk about this past term and my grades etc. feeling quite nervous but...well...we'll just have to wait and see.

On Monday I start my first distance course for the summer, Swedish! :) Hope it won't be too heavy...! Don't mind reading a good book or two though... :) In July I'm doing a course in Religious studies and a Psychology course and then I have a whole week "off" before the autumn term starts again mid-August.

E.

Finally!

I've been drudging about with this horrible cold and slight fever for what feels like ages! I wrote about the visit to the Dr's last week and I wasn't going to go back...! Thought that feeling sorry for myself and being annoyed about feeling crap would make it go away but...no! That didn't work... ;) Got another appointment today (different Dr!) and lo and behold got a prescription for antibiotics! ...and MORE cough medicine so now I just HAVE TO get better!

Stephen was home on leave Sun-Mon and last night I just didn't want to go to bed because I missed him SO much...! :( I realised now, when he's almost (hopefully!) home again (perhaps even at the weekend!), just how much I've missed not having him beside me at night - just knowing he's there, all warm and toasty for me to warm my cold feet on... :) :(

E.

30

The dreaded 3 0 arrived and he survived... ;) Stephen turned 30 yesterday! ♥ :)

We met up in town, enjoyed the lovely weather and the time to ourselves... Mum looked after the kiddies.
He's hoping to be able to come home Sunday - Monday and if all goes well he might even get signed out next week... :) but we'll see...not wanting to rush things either...taking things day by day and letting it take whatever time it needs.

E.

Ossie

Here's our Oss-man, the way we know him best. :) Cool and calmly observing what's going on... I can't believe what a change it's been after Jaspurr left! Oss is still quite nervous around the house, like he's expecting J to turn up round the next corner, but he's out and about and he even ventured outside for a little while... *impressed*
We've learnt our lesson, no new strays - no matter how much our heart goes out to them...it's not fair on our other furry family members.

E.

Bon voyage Jaspurr!

Yes, "our" lovely Jaspurr is off to make a little old lady happy... Sad to see him go but I'm sure he'll give her plenty joy, he's such a great cat!

We thought things were getting better between Oss and J and probably would have continued to improve if Oss had stood his ground. J challenged him the way cats do and Oss disappeared under the bed again, refused to come out and later used one of our scatter cushions as a toilet... *sigh*
Jaspurr also had to be put downstairs at night time for Ossie to even use the toilet upstairs. :/ What a different cat Oss was after getting used to the "breathing space" at night and we just felt even worse realising what a huge change bringing a strange cat into Oss's home has been for him...

Once again Åke at the animal shelter has helped us out and has found J a new home! :) Safe journey to your new home Jaspurr! Be good! We'll miss you! x x x

E.

The Doctor...

OK, so I changed my appointment with the nurse to one with the Dr since I was just feeling terrible this morning...still no fever though...

Just back from there now and *sigh* again I feel like I've just been a bother and he seemed to think I was asking him to treat my hoarseness!? I know it gets better all by itself and "all" I need to do is to shut up, unfortunately that's not so bloody easy when I have two kids. :[

Thought he first was going to send me home without taking any tests but I think he noticed a slight irritation from my part and he got the nurse to take my temperature and do a blood test, but no throat swab...? Nothing wrong was basically his verdict - I did get something for my cough (which better be GOOD!). "Come back if you get a fever or if the cough gets worse..." (i.e. when you SICK). :(
Thanks for nothing! :/

E.

Need to whine...

I'm SO full of cold! :( I don't think I've EVER been so full of the sniffles as I am right now and have been for over a week! I've also been very hoarse and I'm now starting to totally loose my voice - interesting to try and talk to the little ones when nothing comes out when I speak... *sigh!* Anton's constantly going "Huh?" "Mummy, what did you say...?" poor thing! Poor me! :( ;)
I don't fell well enough to go to school but not unwell enough to stay at home and I've done both in the last week or so and neither has been good...
Thankfully (?) we've got a home assignment for the rest of the week so I just need to find the energy to actually DO the assignment. We watched an American tv-movie "The Wave" (1981) about an actual social experiment that took place in a high school in the 60s, very interesting! I've been wanting to see "Die Welle" (2008) which is a new version of the old tv-movie and it's set in Germany, rather than USA. We're to analyse the experiment, the group etc. and the ethical and moral responsibilities of a leader...could be really good, if only I have enough energy. *buhu!*

I'm going to the nurse tomorrow get a swab of my throat to rule out tonsillitis and whatever else it might possibly be...didn't feel necessary to see the Dr. since it does feel like "just" a cold...if I need antibiotics we'll have to sort out something then and there.

Send me all your get-well-soon-vibes 'cause I need it!
*off to bed*

E.

So... *loooong post*

Blogging, it's a funny thing...
I've never felt the need to share the ins and outs of our personal life on the world wide web, simply 'cause it's nobodies business. Then certain things happen in life that affects us more than just a little, and more than just right now...and those things are hard to leave out, even if it perhaps feels a little bit too close for comfort...
Continuing to blog and trying to "hide" these real life events would feel like dishonesty and I would probably stop blogging all together if I felt I couldn't be honest...

I blog mainly for myself - as a diary that I love looking back in to see what I was doing then or when it was that something happened...perhaps it can also be something for Anton and Erin too to read in the future.
I'm SO happy I've got a few "faithful followers" ;) and I LOVE getting comments and thoughts from both friends and strangers about something I've experienced and shared...even though most of what I write is just plain old everyday family life stuff...

So...my blogging of late has felt a bit...constrained. I've tried keeping things "casual" as I've not know how to share what's been going on in our lives without crossing that border of perhaps being too personal and sharing too much...
I have now decided to share and to be personal because this is just something that sometimes happens in life. Something that is a part of our life now and possibly will be for the rest of our life and it isn't something I can just choose not to "talk" about...

...here I go...
We've had a rough start to this year... Over Christmas and New Year Stephen was feeling very low and depressed, he's had spells of this before, and he realised (was told by me) that he would need some help to get through this.
He got an appointment with the doctor at the beginning of January and got some anti-depressive medicine to help...he felt strong enough to keep working, even insisted on it to keep him sane.
He kept seeing his Dr. about every two weeks.
In February he hit a wall, just had no energy for anything. He got a sick line from the Dr. and followed up with weekly visits... the meds weren't helping and his symptoms were a bit off, so rather than start experimenting with different drugs ('cause there are plenty for depression) Stephen got a referral to the psychiatric ward to get a more thorough examination for what might be wrong.
The appointment was at the end of April so we had about a month of just waiting to get to the bottom of all this, which was hard...of course hardest on Stephen. Not getting any better and not being able to see the "light at the end of the tunnel" takes a toll on any person.
After the visit to the expert psychiatrist Stephen had a diagnosis - bipolar, and things started falling into place... Lots of now-I-get-why's and an understanding of his past moods and behavior that he himself had thought to be not quite right. He got new/more meds and, I think, was quite "happy" to have a name to what he was going through.
Bipolar needs treatment, the correct meds and therapy and we both were/are prepared to do what it takes. If all had gone as planned he would have started his outpatient treatment last week...

Alongside all of this we've had to fight (are still fighting) to get the sick pay the Stephen is entitled to. The Swedish Social Insurance Office (Försäkringskassan) claim this, that and the other... I'll spare you all the details, I can tell you they're WRONG (and we're appealing their decision, going to court if we have to!) but it doesn't change the fact that they are not paying his sick pay.
The strain of all of this, and of course all the new-old stuff as well, got to be too much and last Wednesday he had a break down and was (with his approval) admitted to the psychiatric ward.

So...that's where we are right now... He's better than he was but finding the correct medication can take time and he'll not be released until he's stable, which he's not yet. He's now free to go for short walks on his own and was given leave to come home for a few hours yesterday... He still has at least a few weeks before he can come home, might be longer or shorter time but it's important to not rush. We'll give it the time it needs...
It's been an adjustment for me too to suddenly "run the house" by myself and manage without getting a lift to/from school or leaving/picking kids up from day-care having someone who does the food shopping...and I manage... :) I miss him terribly of course but I know he's safe and somewhere he can focus on just himself for a while.
We've got amazing support from my family and friends and I feel very well looked after and need not for much...except of course the money we're due! :[

E.

Pics from last weeks visit to the zoo.

And we're walking... :) Lovely day!

The monkeys on a fruit break - looking at the elephants.

Cool dude! :D

Water break for the the monkey.

Our little miss in the sunshine!

Looking for...? :)

E.

Ouch!!

The other night when I was carrying Anton back to his bed (after he'd been for his last toilet visit for the night) I stubbed my toe! Had to bite my tongue to not shout out loud into Anton's ear but I didn't think it was too bad... After getting myself ready for bed as well and whilst crawling into bed I felt PAIN shooting up my leg from my little toe!! OUCH!! What the *bliiip*!! :'[


Realising my toe actually might be totally detached (and that I just hadn't realised it until that instant) and possibly laying lurking under my bed (since that's where I stubbed the toe) I didn't dare to look down and cried for S to help!

"My toe, my toe, my baby toe!!"
"What about it? Is it broken again?" was his reply, understandably so since I have...twice!

He had a look and calmly replied... "Its still there...but the nail isn't...."

The pain multiplied by about a 100 times after hearing that! OUCH!! :(
After getting a plaster on it (a plaster always makes boo-boos better didn't you know?) ;) I managed to crawl into bed and fall asleep...spent the following day limping about in the garden but the following evening it felt much better and is not sore at all.

Long post about a very little toe...sorry!

E.