So... *loooong post*

Blogging, it's a funny thing...
I've never felt the need to share the ins and outs of our personal life on the world wide web, simply 'cause it's nobodies business. Then certain things happen in life that affects us more than just a little, and more than just right now...and those things are hard to leave out, even if it perhaps feels a little bit too close for comfort...
Continuing to blog and trying to "hide" these real life events would feel like dishonesty and I would probably stop blogging all together if I felt I couldn't be honest...

I blog mainly for myself - as a diary that I love looking back in to see what I was doing then or when it was that something happened...perhaps it can also be something for Anton and Erin too to read in the future.
I'm SO happy I've got a few "faithful followers" ;) and I LOVE getting comments and thoughts from both friends and strangers about something I've experienced and shared...even though most of what I write is just plain old everyday family life stuff...

So...my blogging of late has felt a bit...constrained. I've tried keeping things "casual" as I've not know how to share what's been going on in our lives without crossing that border of perhaps being too personal and sharing too much...
I have now decided to share and to be personal because this is just something that sometimes happens in life. Something that is a part of our life now and possibly will be for the rest of our life and it isn't something I can just choose not to "talk" about...

...here I go...
We've had a rough start to this year... Over Christmas and New Year Stephen was feeling very low and depressed, he's had spells of this before, and he realised (was told by me) that he would need some help to get through this.
He got an appointment with the doctor at the beginning of January and got some anti-depressive medicine to help...he felt strong enough to keep working, even insisted on it to keep him sane.
He kept seeing his Dr. about every two weeks.
In February he hit a wall, just had no energy for anything. He got a sick line from the Dr. and followed up with weekly visits... the meds weren't helping and his symptoms were a bit off, so rather than start experimenting with different drugs ('cause there are plenty for depression) Stephen got a referral to the psychiatric ward to get a more thorough examination for what might be wrong.
The appointment was at the end of April so we had about a month of just waiting to get to the bottom of all this, which was hard...of course hardest on Stephen. Not getting any better and not being able to see the "light at the end of the tunnel" takes a toll on any person.
After the visit to the expert psychiatrist Stephen had a diagnosis - bipolar, and things started falling into place... Lots of now-I-get-why's and an understanding of his past moods and behavior that he himself had thought to be not quite right. He got new/more meds and, I think, was quite "happy" to have a name to what he was going through.
Bipolar needs treatment, the correct meds and therapy and we both were/are prepared to do what it takes. If all had gone as planned he would have started his outpatient treatment last week...

Alongside all of this we've had to fight (are still fighting) to get the sick pay the Stephen is entitled to. The Swedish Social Insurance Office (Försäkringskassan) claim this, that and the other... I'll spare you all the details, I can tell you they're WRONG (and we're appealing their decision, going to court if we have to!) but it doesn't change the fact that they are not paying his sick pay.
The strain of all of this, and of course all the new-old stuff as well, got to be too much and last Wednesday he had a break down and was (with his approval) admitted to the psychiatric ward.

So...that's where we are right now... He's better than he was but finding the correct medication can take time and he'll not be released until he's stable, which he's not yet. He's now free to go for short walks on his own and was given leave to come home for a few hours yesterday... He still has at least a few weeks before he can come home, might be longer or shorter time but it's important to not rush. We'll give it the time it needs...
It's been an adjustment for me too to suddenly "run the house" by myself and manage without getting a lift to/from school or leaving/picking kids up from day-care having someone who does the food shopping...and I manage... :) I miss him terribly of course but I know he's safe and somewhere he can focus on just himself for a while.
We've got amazing support from my family and friends and I feel very well looked after and need not for much...except of course the money we're due! :[

E.