Well, not really but as good as...
Time to write the essay in the auditorium today and I felt fairly confident and not stressed at all. This essay is in no means the "be all and end all" of the course we're doing right now, an important part yes but nothing to get overly stressed about.
I know the material we've been given to analyse, I know the different theories and... I know this! Still...when we were handed the papers and were told what we were specifically to write about my brain just...stopped working... :/ Total...not even panic (that would have felt slightly "normal") just...blank... I read the text 3 times and listened to our teachers instructions and read it again and felt tears welling up in my eyes.
What the hell?! I KNOW this!! Deep breaths and trying to organise my thoughts, even choosing the lowest grade assignment ("just" a pass) to make it easier for myself and still...nothing...!?!
Tears running down my face at this point and I'm not getting anywhere...spoke with my teacher and she was fine, she knows too I know the stuff but of course needs it on paper too..."Don't torture yourself about it...we'll sort something else out. Take it easy 'til we go on a break and then decide what you want to do..."
Felt like such a...*sigh* I don't know...I still don't know...all I know is that all my class mates are writing their essays at the moment and I'm at home. What a... :(
So not what I was expecting for today...!
E.
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Almost bedtime and still bummed out about my "episode"... :/ Would have felt better if I just didn't know the stuff...if I hadn't studied...
Think I'll go to bed now, hoping to feel better in the morning.
G'night!
*hugs* It's okay, hon. That has happened to me so many times. Sounds like your teacher is understanding, so that is a plus!
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